Their Corvid Majesties hereby proclaim a Day of Celebration in recognition of the engagement of Super Daughter to a Human of Whom We Approve.
The happy couple is worthy of our commendation for the following reasons:
Super Daughter immediately recognized that we are “badass” when she met us, revealing surprising perception for a human;
We have, to our knowledge, never laid eyes on Super Daughter’s Intended, making him the most desirable type of human known to Us.
It has been reported that the Intended worked with a jeweler to design a beautiful ring with a family diamond surrounded by sapphires in the setting. This is of no interest to Their Avian Graces as crows are not distracted by shiny things. Our North American cousins sometimes pretend to be to be attracted to trinkets to amuse tourists and other gullible humans (Canuck, we’re looking at you), but the idea that we would be so easily distracted is pure foolishness.
Accordingly, We hereby command all Our Subjects near and far to raise a super worm (or something else suitable) in honor of the happy couple. Long may they canoodle and allofeed.
DONE this 5th year of Our Reign on 12th of April 2017