Gwen, Stephen and Ruckus wish you a Happy Halloween but would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight, as once again crows are being maligned as harbingers of death and evil to add to the atmospherics of the day.

Dear Humans:

Please note the following:

• Yes, crows ate dead bodies after battles in Europe until the onset of modern warfare. You’re welcome. Our ancestors were happy to help out cleaning up the mess that you humans created with all your ridiculous warfare. But don’t blame us that there were no vultures around to help get rid of the carrion. And no fair holding it against us centuries later.
• Hey, Sweden, we’ll say it one more time: Ravens croak at each other to communicate; they are not channeling the voices of murdered people who were not properly buried.
• Likewise, Germany, forget this idea that ravens can find the souls of the dead.
• And if you’re from Asia, kindly remember that if a crow faces your door, the point is to feed it and not run around telling people it signals danger. And if a crow perches on your roof is with a red thread in its beak, your house is not going to burn down. Chill.

Given all these silly superstitions, you can’t blame us quoting the abolitionist Henry Ward Beecher, who said: “If men had wings and bore black feathers, few of them would be clever enough to be crows.”

But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy Halloween.

Love,

Gwen, Stephen Crowbert, and Ruckus