It is fair to say that Gwen and Stephen are in some kind of massive hormonal overdrive because their IQs seem to be plummeting by the minute. Minion Man filed the following dispatch earlier today regarding his attempt to feed G&S a left-over slice of bacon.

Bacon Acceptance Process

  1. Notice Minion Man is approaching back door;
  2. Perch above enclosure door and stare at him;
  3. Become aware that Minion Man is indeed approaching the enclosure;
  4. Yell at Minion Man, in case he is not aware of the very obvious act that he is NOT allowed to come into the enclosure;
  5. Leave perch area and fly around the enclosure like idiots (while continuing to yell) in an effort to make it look like there are more of you in case Minion Man can’t count (Crow maxim:  It is hard to underestimate MM’s cognitive abilities);
  6. Note that Minion Man has indeed entered the vestibule of the enclosure, but did not enter the enclosure itself;
  7. Yell at Minion Man’s retreating back, but this time in TRIUMPH at having fooled Minion Man by flying around like idiots,  seeing him off in obvious ignominious defeat;
  8. Notice bacon placed in door of enclosure;
  9. Yell at bacon;
  10. Notice bacon is, amazingly, not in any way intimidated by being yelled at;
  11. Yell some more;
  12. Remember bacon is food;
  13. Grab bacon and toss to the ground;
  14. Become concerned that bacon might NOT be dead;
  15. Dance around bacon and yell at it;
  16. Conclude bacon IS dead;
  17. Grab bacon and move to a better location;
  18. Move some sticks to hide bacon in case someone saw you with bacon;
  19. Move some more sticks on top of bacon to make it look better;
  20. Process concluded.