I’m sure we’ve all seen the video clips of super savvy crows pulling up buckets on chains to get the treat and otherwise manipulating tools to complete subtle moves that result in obtaining a treat. I decided to test Gwen and Stephen to see how much finesse they could muster to extract food from a box placed in a grocery bag and hung on a perch.

The answer? Not much.

Our dynamic duo remains firmly devoted to the concept of brute force. If you destroy the bag off the bat, you don’t have to worry about figuring out how to slide it off the perch. Same with the box. If you kill it dead, then you don’t have to figure out how the tab goes in and out of the slot. Really, problem solving is for the weak.

So Stephen took it upon himself to shred the bag until it fell to the ground. Then Gwen took over. She was all about box destruction until something happened. What that was remains a mystery, but Ms. Fairfax had to go into full alert mode.

While she was prancing around, Stephen went back to work and discovered treasure, aka almonds. G&S will not touch a peanut under any circumstances but love almonds. Who knew? I didn’t, until a camper at one of Snafu and Zen’s shows asked if corvids like almonds. So I gave it a try and it turns out that they regard almonds as a combination of crack, chocolate, and warm bread — in short, an endorphin extravaganza. So when Gwen saw that Stephen had an almond, whatever prompted her to go into Mohawk mode vanished and she trotted over to get her share of the loot.

While Gwen caught up on the almonds, Stephen proceeded to unveil the main course: hard boiled eggs. Everyone knows that the only point of a hard-boiled egg is to eat the yolk. Whites are for losers. So Stephen grabbed the entire yolk while Gwen was engaged with the almond.

Of course, M. Crowbert is not suicidal. He left the second egg for Gwen. He got an entire yolk and knew to quit while he was ahead.